The sad truth is, unfortunately the answer is yes!
Everyone has the right to live without fear of violence or abuse. But when the victim identifies as a male there is little to no help available and Domestic Violence inflicted from a female abusers is often overlooked or minimised.
Physically abuse is brushed off, and men are expected to be the bigger person and just cop it. Society is partly to blame. If you see a male publicly being screamed at and hit, would you jump in and stop it or call the police?
He’ll be alright, he probably did something to deserve it, right?
Wrong, Domestic Violence regardless of gender needs to stop.
Emotional or psychological abuse is often laughed off and dismissed. If you were to witness a female go up to her partner and grab his belly saying “Your getting a bit chubby”; Funny, Right?
Now if the roles where reversed, Wow, How rude?
Now imagine a wife telling her husband how useless he is because he can’t fix the car, and she’ll have to call a real man to come and fix it. How does that sit with you?
What if the husband was to tell this wife she is useless because she burnt dinner.
Coercive control can be over looked as-well, when signs of a male victim being prevented from making or keeping connections with family, friends is apparent, rarely does anyone get involved.
When a female tracks her partners phone via GPS and goes through his text messages, emails and social media. It’s okay he shouldn’t have anything hide.
But when roles are reversed he is controlling.
So how do we make a changes?These are just a few examples of how society doesn’t recognise signs of domestic violence the same for both male and female victims. But what can be done to make a change this. Recognise Domestic Violence for what is bias-free, call out the abusers and let them know their behaviour is not appropriate or acceptable. Offer support to the victim, let them know they are not alone.
As a victim the first thing you can do is to acknowledge that you are in a abusive relationship. The second step is to realise that you can do something about it and that the choice that you make help pave the way for other male victims. Here are some next steps:
1. Report it, Report the abuse to the police, your doctor or lawyer. They will know what your rights are and how to put you in touch with someone who can give you expert advice. It ain’t weak to speak.
2. Get support, Find someone you trust and can talk to about your situation. Telling someone about what is happening can help with your feelings of helplessness and isolation. You might be able to talk to a friend, a coworker or a professional counsellor. You can also call
- MensLine Australia – 1300 78 99 78
- 1800RESPECT- 1800 737 732
- Mens Referral Service- 1300 766 491
3. Create a safety plan, A safety plan is a course of action you can take if faced with violence or harm not only to yourself, but also to children and pets. safety plan answer questions such as: At what point is home no longer safe and you need to leave? Where will you go that is safe? Will you take the children with you? Do you have the right to take the children with you? Have you told someone about your safety plan? A trusted friend? Your mother? A neighbour? Pack an emergency bag that includes items you’ll need when you need to leave, such as important papers, medication, extra clothes, keys.
4. Keep a journal, Write down everything that has happened. This may be useful if you are seeking legal protection or police help.
Read more about domestic and family violence against men:
MensLine Australia: Experience a violent or abusive relationship?- external sitelaunch
Health direct: Domestic violence against men- external sitelaunch
DVRCV: For men- external sitelaunch
Mayo Clinic: Domestic violence against men: Know the signs- external sitelaunch
