Author Archives: LillyPilly
About LillyPilly
Lilly Pilly’s provide safe, neutral and child-focused venues for supervised visits and changeovers to occur between children and their parents and other significant persons in the child’s life.
Connecting with teens during supervised contact.
Grunts of “I dont knows“ and “whatevers”, can be disheartening while you try to solidify your relationship. Being a non-resident parent may have you feeling on the outside. But the resident parent may also be feeling distant or disconnected from the teen which is typical when teens are developing independence. Do you remember your teen years? Navigating peer pressures and conflict, hormonal mood swings, discovering self identity and developing concepts of romantic relationships. Manage y...
Co-Parenting during the holiday season.
The holidays are supposed to be a fun filled time of the year. However, holidays can be significantly stressful for separated or blended families. Coordinating schedules for visitations and parenting time can be overwhelming. This is especially true if this is the first holiday for a family after a split. While the transition may be difficult, you can help reduce the amount of stress and potential anxiety and minimise disruption by considering some of these holiday co-parenting tips: Communicate...
How to deal with false claims.
Family law disputes can be emotionally charged. In certain circumstances, feelings of anger, resentment, or a desire for revenge can lead parents to make false allegations against their former partner. Such allegations can become a focal point during a hearing, impacting the legal process and the outcomes of custody and property settlements. Some individuals may make false accusations without realising the seriousness or potential consequences. There are different laws that are relevant to false...
Is it different for men?
The sad truth is, unfortunately the answer is yes! Everyone has the right to live without fear of violence or abuse. But when the victim identifies as a male there is little to no help available and Domestic Violence inflicted from a female abusers is often overlooked or minimised. Physically abuse is brushed off, and men are expected to be the bigger person and just cop it. Society is partly to blame. If you see a male publicly being screamed...
Making the most of your supervised contact.
It’s warming up, the days are getting longer and so are Lilly Pilly’s opening hours: Monday till Thursday 8am – 7pm Saturday & Sunday 8am – 4pm Closed Christmas & New Years day. At Lilly Pilly we aim to insure your visit does not feel clinical. Our supervisors are always within ear and eye shot but we do not hover. We give you space and have a number of activities you can enjoy doing with your child at our premises:...
Why Children seek control.
When in a separated or blended family unit it is easy to get caught up in big emotions and blame the other parent or the separation for your child’s behaviour. Raising children is hard work and even in traditional family units children will play parents off against each other in order to get what they want. A simple personality trait may be the reason behind the controlling behaviour, they may grow up to be amazing natural leaders, but they lack...
Signs of Manipulation.
Manipulation can take many forms. A manipulator can skew any situation to make themselves the victim. They encourage you to doubt yourself and make you question your own reality. Separation with a manipulative partner can be hard when children are involved as they often use them as tool to continue the manipulative behaviour. The motivation behind manipulative behaviour may be for financial gain, to obtain power and control, to inflict pain or they may be dealing with a mental...
The Lilly Pilly Maccas Changeover Routine for High Conflict Families:
Drop off : 1. The parent for contact / parent picking up arrives at the MacDonalds Restaurant atleast 15 minutes before child/children are to be delivered and waits inside the restaurant. * Maybe arrive for time to buy a drink and chips to have at the ready to ease the childrens (and the parents) anxieties 2. The primary carer / parent dropping off arrives with child/ren at the MacDonalds Restaurant at correct agreed time, NOT before or after.. 3. The...
The Contact / Communication Book
At Lilly Pilly, when communication between parents is difficult, we encourage parents to start communicating with each other through the use of a contact or communication book. Typically the child/ren carry the book in their bag between visits to each parent. It is preferable if it is a medium sized, bound book with numbered pages (pages can tend to go missing). The contact book is about the children with regards to their needs and anything else you think could be relevant....
POP – Parenting Orders Programs
What is a Parenting Orders Program? A Parenting Orders Program is the name of a post separation parenting program under the Family Law Act. It helps separated parents work out arrangements that allow parents and other family members to spend time with the children. Why go to a Parenting Orders Program? Sometimes families who are separated are not able to agree about arrangements for seeing their children and cannot make parenting orders work. Parents may have been to court to...
Parenting Orders – what you need to know
A parenting order is a set of orders made by a court about parenting arrangements for a child. A court can make a parenting order based on an agreement between the parties (consent orders) or after a court hearing or trial. When a parenting order is made, each person affected by the order must follow it. A parenting order may deal with one or more of the following: who the child will live with how much time the child will...
The Twelve Golden Rules of Giving Evidence
As many people who are using he centre are unfortunately involved with various Court systems. I thought I would share a list of rules given to me by a very respected Queens Counsel. 1. Listen to the question. This is the first and most obvious rule. You would be surprised how many witnesses don’t 2. If you don’t hear or understand the question, say so. Don’t guess at what the barrister was asking. Don’t be afraid to say “I am sorry,...